I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
