So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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