Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
