I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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