I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
