Sry I called you an 8
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
