Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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