Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
