Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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