Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize