the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
