Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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