Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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