hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
