i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he puts the penis in happiness.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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