Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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