I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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