Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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