did you get engaged???
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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