If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
