We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
