So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
