Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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