Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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