I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So vagazzling was a success
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
