Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
