You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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