it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
