just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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