Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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