I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
