I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
