I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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