We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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