Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
