I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
