zippers are such a cool invention
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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