good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
