So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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