It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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