I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
