Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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