Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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