BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sext me about skeletons
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
