"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
