you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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