Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
