You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
