the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
