Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
